Don't Worry Baby. Everything will turn out alright.
The Mystery unfolding.
I’m one week out from my HIGHLY anticipated, ENERGETICALLY fortified, INTENTIONALLY curated, retreat. If this thing could levitate, it would. For me, I wonder how it is for you, it is only right before the launch that the downloads come pouring in. The prep work before hand is for the structure, but the real juice, the inspiration, the energetic accord is birthed right before. Isn’t that how birth works though? There’s no rushing the baby. And the medicine comes to those who are devoted to the stretch and contractions and breaking open of receiving the miracle of creation.
It’s been raining here in Asheville, the land softening and swelling, reflecting back the lush aliveness that grows from receiving it all, from the thunderstorms, the sunshine, and the flux in between.
The other day as I sat on my porch listening to the rain of insights for the retreat, I heard that Brian Wilson passed away. I love the Beach Boys. Pet Sounds is the soundtrack of my childhood car rides on our way down to the Jersey shore. Open windows for thick humidity to blow my hair into tornadoes of knots, flying straight into my mouth as I sang from the last row of the station wagon. The stick of my thighs on the hot leather seats, as I lifted them from the small pools of sweat to the beat of the music. GOOD VIBRATIONS indeed.
But my true connection to Brian Wilson came five years ago, when my brother-in-law Louis was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He was strong, vibrant, a young 44. No words can touch how the floor dropped and any sense of time lines and health and family units vanished. What is there to do, when there is nothing to be done? Follow Rumi and seek the places that are blocking Love.
It was the summer of 2020, my family and I traveled out of the LA sphere to our annual summer respite to Jay's mother's lake house. We exhaled leaving the chaos, urgency and fear to the small, isolated and slow pace of Lake Champlain. We were up there with Louis when he got the diagnosis and sat with him as he listened to his inner direction of how he would meet life.
He quickly went back to California and decided to make things work with his girlfriend. Bought a house together and broke free from all the questions he had been grappling with. His lifelong, freewheeling bachelor lifestyle completed. He wanted to root down, live with her. Bought a house. Got his care in order. He started scratching states off his bucket list. Mississippi was the last one.
We had stopped any plans we had made and planted ourself in Louis’ inner circle of care. As things got louder, any places my heart was closed to him felt heavier. My sacred invitation was to get in there and feel and forgive and love. And the only way I knew how to was through prayer. Each night before sleep I asked for clarity:
“Help. Please. Show me. Peace, please. Love, please. Show me how to show up in a way I can understand.”
And after several nights of baffling dreams I awoke to the chorus of the song -
DON'T WORRY BABY. EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT ALRIGHT.
Over and over and over.
And this was my North Star. My answered prayer. A mysterious and tender loving note from the Divine through the sweet and velvety voice of Brian & the Beach Boys.
And you know what? It did turn out alright. Not in the way my ego would think but in the way the generosity of the Mystery does. Far more expansive, and generative than what my mind was able to comprehend at the time. Louis passed 7 months after his diagnosis. And by the time he departed all his sharp edges were soft. He was wide open. Gorgeous and glorious, there was nothing in the way of him and Love. He got there. He did it.
Today, he is an active participant in my life, in each of our lives.
Lights flicker - we’re like “yo. Whudup Louie?”
Things go sideways? We’re like “YO! We need you Uncle Louie.”
And he does, he shows up. I seek his counsel and power of Love everyday. And this song is a clear gateway to connect with the Loving Mystery that holds it all.
I’ll see you all on the other side.
For those that are interested on being put on the waitlist for the Fall retreat in October reply here and I’ve got you.
These retreats are not about striving to get anywhere or be better. They’re about practicing trust of the rain, the heat, the sweat, the loss, the song. They’re about letting the Great Mother hold us in every edge, every surrender, every beauty.
It’s okay not to know where you're going.
It's okay to not feel “ready.”
The Mystery will meet you in devotion, not in control.
Don’t worry baby. Everything will turn out alright.
xx
Maura
Exploratory call for 6 months of coaching or mentorship
Revelation Breathwork Facilitator Training
*reach out for October Asheville Retreat waitlist
